Thursday, May 14, 2009

Prom


Jordan had his senior prom. The day started with his crew of friends coming over here to get ready. Boys are great. They were dressed and ready to go in less than 20 minutes. The fun began shortly after they were done. We went to the neighbors to take pictures of them. They turned out great. Then, the dates arrived and the real fun started. The girls were gorgeous and made the boys look that much better. They all had a great time at the prom. Jordan had a minor mishap on the way there when the brilliant child was drinking a Coke from a bottle and spilled some of it on his tux. He is fully convinced that Coke tastes so much better from a glass bottle. Evidently it wears better, too.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Never a dull moment

Last night started out like any other Monday. The girls are in the barn working and I am taking care of some much needed weeding in the flower gardens. The next thing I know, Ashley is carrying a bucket to show me a SNAKE. The girl has a pet snake so she isn't the slightest bit afraid of them. However, she informs me that she thinks this one is a baby copperhead. OK, you captured what you think might be a venemous snake!!! Are you nuts??? I verified that the snake was safe and sound in a 5 gallon bucket with no chance of escape so we decided to keep it until Tom arrived home. About that time, Emily comes running from the barn saying, "Don't kill it!!" I ask Emmy, "Why do you care if we kill it?" I explain that if it is poisonous it will need to be killed. She says again, "Don't kill it!". At this point I'm thinking she has an attachment to the slithering little reptile just like she did the chipmunk. I'm trying to avoid another situation like the chipmunk so I tell her it will not be killed anytime soon. I asked her to explain why she didn't want the snake killed and she promptly exclaims "I want to watch". WHAT!!!!!!!! You want to watch?????? I joke with her that she has a characteristic of a serial killer and why on earth do you want to watch a snake get killed. She says, "So I can see if they are like chickens and crawl around with their heads cut off". That made me feel better, I don't have a future felon on my hands, just a twisted little girl who wants to see if snakes can crawl around with no heads. Well, as fate would have it, Tom gets home and inspects the latest catch. Lucky for the snake, he was a harmless rat snake who helps us out be eating mice. He was set free and will live to tell his children about his time in a plastic bucket.

So, my ordinary Monday turned into a hilarious night of snakes and laughter.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Can we keep him?

Callie cat-she LOVES chipmunks

OK, you know your life is just plain flat weird when you spend your Friday night rehabilitating a chipmunk. I went outside and caught one of the cats "playing" with a chipmunk. Feeling sorry for the little guy, I shooed the cat away. Emily comes up from the barn and witnesses the latter. I told her I would keep an eye on the cat so the chipmunk wouldn't become dinner. Well.....I got a little bit busy with Jordan and forgot all about the chipmunk. That is until Emily came in holding it and blowing in its face so it could breathe. She has seen one too many episodes of Animal Planet. I convince her that it is dead and should have a proper burial. We have a very special spot for critters whose lives abruptly end so I'm ready for this one. She's crying, "Find a box, find a box." It was at that point that she reminded me I was supposed to be watching the cat. OOPS I blamed that one on Jordan. I found a plastic container that holds her sidewalk chalk and she placed the chipmunk in that. This would serve as a coffin as far as I was concerned. As soon as she placed it in his plastic coffin the darn thing started moving. This begins the rehabilitaion. She decided to put it on a plate. I'm trying to explain that it is probably suffering from internal injuries and is going to die. Perhaps we should put it outside so its mommy will find him and he can die being loved by mommy. I know, sick and twisted but I did not want a chipmunk in my house. I lost that argument. The next thing I know she has it on a paper plate and is petting it. Do they have lice? I hope not. It starts moving and she is so excited. This means she needs two paper plates so it can walk from one to the other. All of this is going on in my dining room . That room has hosted many parties but never a chipmunk rehab. After awhile she is convinced it will live and I convince her that it would be unfair to keep it in a cage so let's let it go. We walk across the street through weeds as high as our waist to get to the woods where it will be free again. As soon as we were ready to bid farewell, guess who shows up for dinner? THE CAT!! How did she know? I was so close to ending the saga and the cat shows up. So, we come back in the house and regroup. I went outside and caught the cat and put her in the house where the dog enjoys making her think she will be dinner. We go back outside with a big flashlight this time and prepare for the big release again. As fate would have it, another cat shows up. Thank goodness Jordan was sitting outside on the porch swing. I demanded that he hold the cat and not let it go at all so we could free the chipmunk. We proceeded with the process and she bid it farewell. Thank goodness. The first thing I did this morning when I woke up was make sure that there was not a dead chipmunk on the back porch. That would have started our Saturday off with a funeral and I threw the coffin away last night.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

I need my parenting license revoked

Guess what I did? I completely forgot to schedule dentist appointments for the kids and myself. A little light bulb went off in my very small brain so I called the dentist. The kids should have gone in December. oops So, now we all get to go in April. Oh happy day!! Now all of the medical things are going through my head... Does anyone need a well child check-up? Guess what?!? Emily reminded me that she is due for one and has been for about 8 months. My bad. The three younger kids also need their eyes examined as it has been about 15 months since that was done. Working part-time and going to school full-time was not the best idea. Thank goodness no ones teeth are rotting and none of them wear glasses. It appears that my next few months will be spent at different Drs. offices. How did I ever keep it straight when they were all babies???

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

The joys of 15 year old girls

Look at the little darling. That was a great day. She had no problems deciding what to wear. Last night, however, was a completely different story. Oh my goodness!!! She is job shadowing for the day and decided to inform me the night before that she had nothing to wear. We were just at Wal-Mart on Sunday discussing wardrobe needs and none were mentioned except the bathing suit for spring break. I know where her priorities were. So, she can't wear denim and she has outgrown all of her skirts. I find a cute pair of gray slacks and SHE doesn't like the way they fit. They have a bump where they fasten. Well now, that is the end of the world. I give up on those and find a pair of black capris. These were too cute. It appears she has grown since she wore them last and they would only work if she didn't want to sit down. Not to mention the fact that they were a little tight in the seat. By now, we have spent 30 minutes in her room looking for something that I could have bought Sunday. Her dad and brother come up to offer their opinions. That was no help. Their suggestion: take her to Wal-Mart before job shadowing and find a pair of tights to wear under one of the skirts. Are you kidding me? What if they don't have the right size or color for Her Royal Majesty! She would be forced to job shadow wearing the wrong color or size. After spending over an hour in her room, I finally locate the perfect skirt that only needed ironed. You would think that I would breath a sigh of relief. Not with this kiddo! She had to find the perfect shirt. The shirt had to fit just right and not have any unsightly bumps anywhere. Oh puleaaaze. Oh, did I mention that she didn't even want to try on the capris because her legs were too pale? Are you kidding me? It is March in Indiana of course your legs are pale. You know what so are a lot of other legs. Besides, no one should be looking that closely at your legs anyway. Now, it's onto the shoes. The dog has eaten most of her shoes. Of course she has because if she hadn't life would be so much easier. That dog loves flip flops. She is especially partial to the ones from Aeropostale. They cost more than Wal-Mart that's why. More searching locates a pair from American Eagle that were too cute. My bad, I liked them and voiced my opinion so Her Royal Majest didn't like them. At this point TOO DARN BAD! They were dirty so she didn't like them. WASH THEM!! She did. Life goes on for her. She was dressed and out the door by 6:45. I can hardly wait for prom. NOT

Tuesday, March 17, 2009


We live in a small farm house about 30 minutes from Indy. The house is "the original manufactured home". Acutally it is a Sears four square home. The neighbors told me it was the first one in the county. The house is on Goat Hollow Rd. OK, quit laughing, I didn't name the road. One word or two is a common question people ask when giving them my address. I'm like, "Are you kidding me? Does it really matter?" The address has motivated us to find other oddly named roads. The list continues to grow: Skunk Hollow, Turkey Track, Grandma Moses, and the list goes on.
Just to keep things interesting on Goat Hollow Rd., the neighbors have llamas. Have you ever seen a llama when it is mad.? I'm sure it could take a goat any day of the week. Just for fun, we let the St. Bernard out in the front yard to hear the llamas scream. She looks surprisingly like a llama from a distance.
I'm a news junkie, I admit it. Just today, I concluded that we are the only sane people left in the world. I'm browsing http://www.foxnews.com/ and find a very disturbing article. This mother in England trying to help her child with Down's Syndrome lose his virginity? HELLO, is anyone home? This woman has adopted 3 children with downs syndrome and wants them to experience everything "normal" people do. I'm ok with that to a point. However, paying a prostitute so her son can experience sex just blows my mind. Where are the authorites? Obviously not reading Fox news.